Peace doesn’t just happen—it’s something we choose to create.

But let’s not be too hard on ourselves for struggling to find peace in a world that often promotes the opposite. We watch as conflict is used to resolve conflict. We see the few who yell the loudest or cause the most destruction receive the most attention. Our differences are weaponized—used as ammunition to fire verbal and literal bullets at one another.

We're conditioned to believe that shame, blame, guilt, and punishment will change behavior—yet they only create more disconnection from ourselves and from each other.

We fight to stand out, to be seen and heard. Our righteousness takes over, and before we know it, we’ve snapped into anger, fear and even hatred.

Peace eludes us because we’ve been programmed to create its opposite—within ourselves and throughout our society. We resist peace because, somewhere along the way, we started to believe that taking action against others is what creates change.

But if you feel called to help create a more peaceful world, then peace must begin with you. Like love, peace is an active choice—one you make again and again.

Start the process of creating peace by letting go of these five ingrained habits.

1) Doomsday scrolling

It feeds anxiety, fear, depression, and hopelessness—while solving nothing. The inner angst it stirs becomes fuel for the four habits that follow. Just stop. Set boundaries around your consumption and choose peace over panic and self-love over self-destruction. Pro Tip: Set scrolling time limits on your phone. Your phone will remind you when it's time to stop!

2) Giving your power away to someone else’s drama

Ask yourself: Why is their drama my drama? Whether it’s a friend, colleague, family member, or world leader—when you get pulled into their chaos, you become part of the story they’re writing, not the one you’re here to live. Reclaim your peace by choosing a drama-free path. Don’t let their story become yours.‍

3) Trying to control what’s out of your control

You can’t control other people’s actions—but you can control your perception and your response. Let go of control, lean into discernment, and trust that peace lives in allowing others to have their own experience.

4) Spiraling in fear-based thoughts and emotions

Most fears are irrational, and fear creates both internal and external chaos. Choose to believe that life is working for you, not against you—and watch your energy shift from panic to possibility. Pro Tip: Use this affirmation to stop the spiral: “I am in control of my mind, my mind is not in control of me.“

5) Offering not-love to someone who believes differently than you

Conflict only creates more conflict. Your not-love words won’t force someone to change their beliefs. Let them believe what they believe—and hope they’ll offer you the same grace. Give acceptance, because that’s what you'd want to receive.

Close your eyes for a moment.

Imagine how differently you’d feel if you gave up these five habits—and embraced the alternatives instead. Peace is not passive. It’s a series of conscious choices (actions) you make every day. And when you choose it, you become a role model others want to emulate.

By letting go of these habits, you create space—for clarity, for growth, and for love of self and others to take root and reshape your experience.

Which of these habits resonates most with you right now? Start there.

And if you’re ready to go deeper, “Love Ignites Peace: Our Next Evolution” (out now on Amazon) will guide you every step of the way.