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The Art of Loving Conflict

Love isn’t the absence of conflict —
it’s the art of how you navigate it.

"The Art of Loving Conflict completely changed how I handle disagreements. I now navigate tough conversations with clarity, compassion, and connection — no more feeling misunderstood. This course truly transforms the way you relate."

Let’s be real. Conflict doesn’t always bring out our best selves–or make us feel good.

The fights that end in tears. The conversation you’re dying to have. Saying the wrong thing or never knowing what exactly to say. Misunderstood. Disconnected. Resistant. Pushed. Exasperated. Angry. Hurt. Hopeless. Remorseful. Frustrated.

Your feelings aren’t wrong. The truth?

In conflict, you’re trying to fulfill a fundamental need–survival–and you are doing it the best way you know how. What if we told you: There is a better way to stay safe and still get what you want + need out of conflict.

This is NOT unique to the mother / daughter relationship.

Conflict is universal

"There is a 100% chance if I would have learned this sooner, it would have benefited all of my most important and most contentious relationships. I could have created a greater closeness with my family, avoided friendship heartbreaks, and dare I say, even saved my marriage."

“I find the Six Conflict Styles to be a fascinating & revealing look at how early experiences shape our present behaviors & coping mechanisms. It is useful information to help understand self & others &, when applied properly, it is a great resource to improve relationships & communication!”

Erika S.

Take it from them:

The Art of Loving Conflict takes a deep dive into the Six Conflict Styles–Optimize, Anchor, Connect, Conquer, Liberate, Give–and empowers you to:

The Never Ending Parent / Child Relationship

“I grew up with a mom who believed everything had its place — the house, the schedule, what we ate, even our emotions. As an adult with kids of my own, her comments on everything — how I parent, what I wear, the state of my house – hit like criticism making me feel never good enough, aka my kryptonite, and shut me down. Even though she meant well, the resentment I felt was boiling over to a breaking point. I had to seek help to figure out how to deal with this important yet frustrating relationship.

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Before The Art of Loving Conflict, I used to react — shut down, get defensive, or avoid her altogether. But now I see what’s really happening: her need for order is her way of staying safe, just like my need for her to respect my boundaries is mine. We’re both trying to feel secure — just in opposite ways.

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That shift changed everything. I stopped taking her comments so personally. I can hold my boundaries with compassion instead of anger. I learned how to communicate with her in a way she could hear....logic > emotionfor her specific Conflict Style. I acknowledged her inability to come on spur of the moment adventures with us wasn’t because she didn’t care, but because it triggered her way of operating. Overall, our relationship feels softer, and I don’t lose myself trying to prove I’m ‘good enough’ or get my feelings hurt because she doesn’t show up for me the way I emotionally wish she would. My resentment feels wayyyy less than it did before, because of what I learned and honestly I feel a closeness with her I haven’t felt in years.”

Dating Dynamics

"One time I had a boyfriend not get back to me for most of the day in the midst of a conflict we were having and I can tell you it was one of the worst days of my life. The fact I couldn’t get him to respond to me almost killed me. I was frantic, literally shaking, and felt so disconnected. I could barely go to bed. Eventually those feelings turned into an emotional outburst full of tears. Turns out connection is one of my fundamental ways of staying safe, but it also turns out that for others connection is the opposite of safety–they need space. I don’t understand it because that is such a foreign feeling to me, but I can respect it and regulate myself more and also create a healthier-in-the-moment conflict experience for us both."

Always Your Fault

"THE FIGHTS WE WOULD HAVE. Always my fault, never theirs. Then I learned that in my conflict style I was always looking to fix things, so I was constantly taking responsibility even when it wasn’t my fault. Not any more."

Disassociation Station

"I was getting SO TIRED of feeling like I couldn’t stay in my body. Everything felt too much. Jobs never lasted long because I felt like I like they limited my creativity. Relationships & Friendships were only something I wanted to be a part of as long as there wasn’t too much pressure on me. In conflict my first reaction was to leave the situation or to literally tune out the other person. One time I even avoided my life long friend for six months because I didn’t want to talk about something that was bothering me in my personal life and I knew she’d ask.

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After completing The Art of Loving Conflict I recognize when I’m fleeing or hiding and employ the tools I learned in course to create a feeling of safety in my body that allows me to formulate my thoughts and engage in a healthier way with each of these important areas of my life. Staying at a job or feeling safe to show up somewhere–imagine that, oh wait I don’t have to anymore because I can now!"

Your future
What life with The Art of Loving Conflict will look like:

You wake up in a home that feels calm. Not because it’s perfectly clean or quiet, but because it holds an atmosphere of peace and safety. The people in your life — partners, family, coworkers, friends — share an unspoken understanding: you can speak openly, and you’ll be met with respect, not defense, honesty, not BS.

When something begins to feel off — a tone that stings, a boundary that blurs — it’s noticed early. There’s no pretending things are fine while resentment grows. You say, gently, “Hey, can we check in about that?” And because this is normal here, not confrontational, the other person exhales, nods, and listens.

Conflict doesn’t arrive as an explosion, but as a quiet signal — a bit of tension, a pause, a feeling that invites attention. People respond before it festers. They ask questions rather than make accusations. They listen to understand. They are honest and show up because this relationship is important to them.

When emotions run high, there’s enough trust to allow what’s needed. Maybe someone takes a walk, or you both agree to revisit the talk tomorrow, after space and reflection. Maybe you are able to express yourself and be fully heard in the moment, never losing the precious connection you crave. Maybe you do have a rousing disagreement, that ends in deeper trust because you both fully engaged in resolving the conflict. What that looks like is unique to your needs  —  one route no better than another.

Forgiveness flows more easily, not because everyone around you has grown, but because you know everyone’s unique way of staying safe. Mistakes aren’t moral failures — they’re moments to practice compassion. You learn, you repair, you grow.And the result? Relationships deepen instead of fracture. Disagreements don’t erode trust; they refine it. The air stays clear. You feel safe to be yourself.

The Art of Loving Conflict Experts & Coaches

Paige

Paige’s Super Power:

Putting all that love you have into action to change your life.

Ashlyn

Ashlyn’s Super Power:

Understanding what makes people tick & how to use that emotional intelligence to make the world better a happier healthier place.

Paige and Ashlyn bring a collective 40 years of facilitated interpersonal relationship growth–for themselves and others–to the table. From trained Mother/Daughter coaches to The 6 Conflict Style researchers to subconscious mind experts, and finally, to dedicated students of their lived experiences, they bring to you their most powerful course yet.

Facilitated with love, compassion, and efficiency, it’s like getting the juicy scoop on a tea date with a friend.

FAQs about The Art of Loving Conflict

Will I actually love conflict at the end of this course?

Funny enough, based on your conflict style, you may already love conflict. We are talking to you Conquerors! But for those that don’t (the majority), we guarantee you will be able to handle conflict in a much healthier, happier, peaceful way. In fact, we offer a money back guarantee if you’ve completed the course and don’t see any changes within 30-days.

How much time does it take to experience a shift in conflict?

The shifts can be immediate. To employ what you’ve learned is a practice. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but with each shift you make–no matter how subtle–your experience in conflict changes.

The course itself is not long, and although it’s recommended to be taken in bite sized chunks, can be done in less than a day.

Is the course video-based, audio-based, text-based, or a combination?

This course comes with videos and a supporting work book for the full experience + an audio only option that can be listened to like a podcast or audiobook. We get it – life is lived on the go and having the time to sit and focus is not always an option. We love a walk and talk, so let’s do it from the track to the at home treadmill! Bonus: Movement is great for learning!

Is this like the 5 Love Languages?

No and yes. This course is not about the 5 Love Languages. It is, however, like the 5 Love Languages in that it is based on the understanding that people experience the world differently. To love is a choice and an action.

Both The 5 Love Languages and The 6 Conflict Styles empower you with the understanding to make the choice that creates love, peace, and all things good in your life and someone else’s life.‍

How does this relate to Attachment Theory? The Enneagram?

Think of Attachment Theory as expressing overarching themes in conflict, but the Six Conflict Styles as a breaking down of–and offering a solution to–what’s happening in the Anxious, Avoidant, Secure, Fearful-Avoidant states.

The Enneagram dives into the unique motivations, fears, and coping strategies of nine core types. Each Enneagram type can help you identify what you may express in conflict–leaving, critiquing, dominating–but the Six Conflict Styles support you in what to do with that information. For example, the best thing to do in conflict with someone that has that pattern, how to avoid triggering someone into the pattern, how to break your own pattern, just to name a few.

Note: This course does not specifically focus on Attachment Theory or the Enneagram.

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Is this course only for personal relationships (family, friends, romantic partners), or can it be applied in professional settings as well?

Here an emotional genius, there an emotional genius, everywhere an emotional genius.

This course puts you well on your way to becoming the Michelangelo of conflict–skillfully able to make conflict a work of art. Thus, what you learn is relevant to any tense, overwhelmed, stressful situation you find yourself in. From close connections to co-workers to the person helping you at the grocery store.

In fact, we have a specific program fit for companies. If you’re interested, inquire here.

Can I access the content at my own pace?

With lifetime access, you are able to access this course 24/7/365 on your own time at your own pace. There are no live or cohort-based elements. You will, however, be invited to join our Facebook group of other likeminded Conflict–oloigsts.

“Learning about the Six Conflict Styles has been a real eye opener for me. It has impacted all areas of my life and has made me a better partner, father, mentor, board member, and friend. Having a better understanding of where people are coming from and where they go to in times of stress is a powerful tool. It helps in navigating difficult interpersonal interactions leading to more successful and rewarding relationships at every level. This knowledge is a tool I will never be without.”

Mike J.

The Moment Everything Changes

Let’s talk about what really happens when you say “yes” to no longer being held back by conflict. Not just a surface-level “yes” but a commitment to getting the most out of life and your most important relationships–including the one with yourself. It’s not just signing up for a course. It’s a whisper to the Universe that says: I know there is something more for me here. I am ready to experience it.

With each step...

Life feels easier.

Conversations start clicking.

Peace in conflict becomes your reality.

Heaviness dissipates.

Relationships heal.

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Get To Know Sher

My Story

“When I work with clients using the Subconscious Transformation work, I witness their surprise as they start to feel their energy shift around the limiting beliefs that have plagued them.  Right before my eyes, I get to see their transformation taking place.”

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I grew up in one of the most beautiful places in California, the Santa Clara Valley. The Valley nurtured my childhood and influenced my career. At that time, the landscape was dotted with grape vineyards, and a multitude of fruit trees like apple, peach, apricot, orange, and lemon. Every day I walked to school smelling the earthy scent of fermenting grapes from the Almaden Winery and the pungent smells of the Gilroy garlic fields. That once fertile Santa Clara Valley soil is now home to the concrete riches of Silicon Valley, a landscape forever changed.

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After studying marketing and advertising at the University of Santa Cruz, I started my marketing career with the high-tech industry in Silicon Valley. Eventually, my high-tech career relocated to Colorado.

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A horseback riding accident not long after moving to Colorado provided the catalyst that led me away from high-tech towards finding my passion and purpose – energy healing. The work of a quantum Reiki master energy healer helped me heal from the accident and introduced me to my life’s work. I then became a student and started studying energy healing and mediumship work under master teachers Michelle Moceri, Intuitive Medium and Healer; John Holland, Evidential Medium; and Joseph Shiel, Medium / Spirit Artist.

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High-tech had become an exhaustive rat race of pressures and extreme competitiveness. I knew I had to let go of my 8 to 5 job, because I was here to serve a higher purpose, but fear of not making enough money kept me trapped.  Using the Subconscious Transformation work to release the beliefs that were keeping me in fear and then integrating the beliefs that aligned me with my purpose, helped me to quit high-tech and take the leap of faith into my starting my own energy healing business.

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When I work with clients using the Subconscious Transformation work, I witness their surprise as they start to feel their energy shift around the limiting beliefs that have plagued them.  Right before my eyes, I get to see their transformation taking place.  This isn’t a one-stop and your fixed kind of work, but over time, huge changes in people’s lives start happening. I feel so overwhelmed with joy and gratitude to be able to help people transform their lives.

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I can’t wait to work with you!

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Get To Know Tracy

My Story

“Energy work is very rewarding. It is the absolute best feeling when someone calls to say how working with me has helped them. I don’t mean that from ego. I mean yay! I’m so happy for you! And I truly am.”

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Hello! This is my story. How I came to be the energetic being I am today.

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I grew up on the East Coast in a very loving family that never thought anything odd about my energetic intuitive, premonition and telepathic abilities. I attribute this to my mother and aunt being identical twins (and that unique relationship). No one in the family thought it was odd to read someone else’s mind or to know things that were going to happen.

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My bachelor's degree is in management with a concentration in finance. That sometimes surprises people because of who I am now. For the past 25 years I have offered energy services of some kind. While I had natural abilities with strong intuition, premonition and telepathy, at a young age I was very drawn to astrology and spent a great deal of time studying it on my own. As I got older and started having flashes of something that I can only describe as a movie playing in front of my face, I started researching past life experiences. I found a class taught by a reputable psychologist and learned about past life regressions. He was a little doubtful of me at first (because I could see my past lives without hypnosis), but by the end of our time together, I was his star (lol). I love history and still love exploring not only my own, but also other people’s past lives with them. They come up quite frequently in sessions.

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As a child, I knew I “saw” things, but I also knew there were things that were scary, and I absolutely did not want to see them. While I continued to watch the guardian angels of all the kids in the neighborhood hover over them, I prayed that I would not see things that were frightening. This is something I kept to myself and never shared with anyone until adulthood.

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Over the years I learned that a huge infusion of love coming into someone’s life opens the possibility for an expansion of energetic abilities. I found this to be true after my son was born (opening me up to an amazing amount of love). Suddenly, I could see, hear, and sense spirits and ghosts. My vibration was going up. As I have grown further as an energetic being, I use my abilities in a different way now. While I still have chats occasionally with my mom, aunt, and beloved dogs and cat on the other side, I prefer not to engage with other folks who have passed on.

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My spiritual journey continued, and I became certified in Reiki level 3 many, many years ago. I’ve heard what I do now to be described as “Reiki on steroids”. One of the most important things I learned from Reiki was that it can be done over distance. At about that same time, I wanted to expand my intuitive abilities and found a course designed and taught by a global author and speaker who is an expert in the field of intuition. In 2006 I expanded from occasional readings to a more regular schedule.

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Two things occurred over the last 10 years that contributed greatly to my energetic growth. In January of 2012, I needed my house cleared! The person that came to do it became my mentor. His support and guidance helped lead me to where I am today. We are still close friends and clear each other regularly.

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In 2015 a good friend planned a trip to England with a spiritual theme scheduled for spring of 2016. I asked the Universe if I should go and if so, what was my purpose? What I heard was “yes and catalyst” and it certainly was a springboard for me. My abilities to move energy expanded greatly. In the early fall of 2015 I had never heard of Language of Light. In one of our trip planning meetings, it came up. The following summer, I was speaking it. I’m a channel and the Angels and Guides I work for/with let the Language of Light flow through me to assist others.

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Energy work is very rewarding. It is the absolute best feeling when someone calls to say how working with me has helped them. I don’t mean that from ego. I mean yay! I’m so happy for you! And I truly am. Overall, what I believe is the purpose of raising frequency is having less (or no) anxiety and lots more happiness, freedom of expression, opening of yourself to either just feeling better or (if you believe yourself inclined) to boost intuitive abilities of your own.

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On a personal family note, I adore my husband, Joe, who I have been married to in many lifetimes before. We have a wonderful adult son (who I’ve also shared past lives with but never before as the parental figure!). We also have a beautiful yellow lab mix girl that we were lucky to adopt in the spring of 2021. She brings us lots of joy and laughter. This is our 22nd year in Colorado.

Get To Know Dr. Zepf

Dr. Zepf Story

Dr. Debrah Zepf, PhD Psc.D DNM MH CCA*, has explored holistic, herbal, and energetic medicine for over 25 years and applies her expertise to guide her clients through their healing journey to live at a higher frequency, feel healthier, and achieve physical, emotional, and spiritual wellness. With a practice of 1,200 clients nationally and Internationally, Dr. Zepf guides clients both in person and via zoom to feeling healthier, more energetic, and balanced. By examining their challenges in a holistic manner, she can search bio-energetically for the root cause of the imbalances rather than symptoms.

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Dr. Zepf pursued a career in alternative, integrative and complementary medicine because of her belief that the human body can heal itself when the proper environment is created and supported. Her formal education in natural healing began as a massage therapist and from there she continued her education to become a Master Herbalist, Clinical Aromatherapist, PhD in both Natural Medicine and Quantum Medicine. She also holds Doctorates in Traditional Naturopathy and Pastoral Sciences.  She has combined her extensive education within these various fields, and is now one of the world’s foremost experts on the best practices for using, blending, and applying of essential oils. Her work maximizes a person’s mental, physical, emotional, and spiritual healing when using these gifts from Mother Earth. 

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In her private practice, she assists clients with a wide range of conditions including pain, digestive problems, environmental sensitivities, hormones, detoxification, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, as well as providing support for individuals who want to experience life to its fullest. She is the creator of a 546 hour on-line course and the author of the most extensive book on aromatherapy ever written.

*PhD – Natural Medicine

Psc.D – Pastor Science Doctorate – Licensed through Pastoral Medical Association

DNM – doctorate in Natural Medicine

DTN – doctorate in traditional naturopathy

MH – Master Herbalist

C.A – Clinical Aromatherapist

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Get To Know Sharon

My Story

My goal is to help people, through yoga, by meeting them right where they are in their life. The culmination of my life’s work is to facilitate improvement in their overall wellbeing and to help them experience life from a more grounded and empowered perspective, so that they can live with more freedom, purpose, and joy. Yoga unmasks our own strengths by training us to respond instead of react, and to flow from one experience to the next (Vinyasa). Life is one big Asana (posture), and helping people find their power, strength, and flexibility through yoga, to deal with life, is my greatest joy.

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Facilitating yoga, especially for people who have been challenged by stress and trauma, has been my work and my passion since 2012. Work and life collided, when on April 28, 2020, my brother feeling hopeless and severely depressed, took his life. Trauma suddenly became very personal for me. His death caused my own personal journey with high anxiety, depression, and unbearable grief.  My body, triggered by my own intense emotions, reacted by losing the feeling in my right leg, from my knee to my foot.  Learning to teach yoga without the sensation of my foot, left me feeling further challenged and defeated. Mental illness and physical trauma, stared right at me. My work and my life suddenly, came full circle.

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So I did what I knew best, I met myself right where I was, on my yoga mat. With patience and perseverance, I cultivated my inner warrior with each breath fueled movement, and slowly found myself again. My personal trauma deepened my passion to help others work through their mental health, physical traumas, stress, anxiety, grief, depression, and PTSD, so on May 20, 2021 I established a non-profit, Purple Lotus WARRIOR Yoga. In addition to teaching yoga in the community and virtually, I also travel across the United States working in-person with these high-risk groups.

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Power comes from within, and yoga in its truest practice, unifies the breath, the body, and the mind to help us negotiate life from a settled place of balance, calm, and courage. I can’t wait to meet you on your mat!

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